Garden Fashion: The Bonnet

I am in my early 40's and my skin still looks great (if I do say so myself).  For one thing, I live on the Gulf Coast and although I complain bitterly about the heat and humidity it does have its benefits.  The humidity means that our skin is continuously moisturized, so we Southern gals age slower.  The other reason:  I wear a hat whenever I plan to be outside.  At the beach, I have a huge cute bright blue hat.  I have lots of wide brim straw hats to wear to any outside event, picnics, farmer's market, sporting events (just kidding - I don't go to sporting events).  And when I garden I always wear a bonnet.  An old fashioned, Little House on the Prairie - type bonnet.  My cousin Val makes my bonnets, my great grandmother wore one, and I have yet to find a garden hat that I prefer.  They really work to keep the sun off your face and easily dangle down my back when I am going inside and outside.  I think I look adorable in it, but I am willing to concede that I may  be the only one thinking that.  At any rate, whenever you see me out in the garden you will see me in my bonnet.  It isn't uncommon for me to be outside and catch stares or honks and waves and laughs and I know it's the bonnet that is garnering so much attention.  It's irritating, but what can you do?  It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make, seeing as how a face lift is not in our budget.  We live on an acre in a suburban/rural area due south of Houston.  We are on the corner of a fairly well traveled street, and because we live in a small community where we are quite active, and Hubby has run for public office, we know a lot of people.  Hubby is well know as the neighborhood lawyer and it's not unexpected to have a knock at the door after dinner and there will be a neighbor, sometimes bringing a bag of sweet potatoes or fresh caught trout, in need of some legal advice.  Inevitably, when we go out to dinner in our small town we run into friends and neighbors.  That is what happened when Hubby took me out for a date night to one of the nicer restaurants recently.  As we were leaving we saw one of Hubby's business clients sitting with his wife.  As usual, we stopped at their table to say hello.  After a bit of idle chit chat the client looks at me and says:
"I was driving by your house the other day and you were out in your garden.  You were wearing your bonnet.  I honked and waved."
"Oh," I replied, "did I wave back?"
"No,"  he got a small smirk on his face "you flipped me off."
I almost choked but managed to say "Sorry.  I thought you were bonnet honking."

So, after a brief and well deserved lecture from Hubby I have decided to get a better attitude about my bonnet.  I love it, it suits me, and I will wear it with pride.  Grab your bonnets, girls!  Who's with me?

Me in my bonnet.  "Come at me, Bro!"

A Case for Keeping Chickens

A Family Portrait...Grace, Sweet Potato, Sugar Snap and Cousins.

We have kept chickens for several years now, and I can't think of a single reason why you wouldn't want to keep chickens.  There are a lot of misconceptions about chickens, and a lot of confusion out there, so let me try to shed a little light on it, and share some of my (hard learned) knowledge in the hope that my kids' childhood trauma can be your lesson learned.  Before you fall in love with the idea of chickens, it's important you know the law in your neighborhood.  Where we live, if you are on an acre you can keep chickens.  We own exactly one acre.  If you are in an HOA you can be sure that they have rules about it.  Don't get discouraged, however.  I know plenty of city dwellers who keep chickens.  I just think it's important you know the law so you can choose whether to break it or not.  The truth is, chickens are fairly quiet (unless you have a rooster) and they do not smell bad, so unless you have an a**hole neighbor, you could try getting away with having a few chickens.  You might even sweeten your neighbors up by offering to share your fresh organic eggs, which in our area cost $4/ dozen!  The eggs are incomparable to those found at your local supermarket.  The yokes are thick and golden, and they taste fresh and delicious.  A pretty little basket of organic eggs makes a wow, yet inexpensive, hostess gift.  From here on out, let's do this FAQ style.  I'll try to answer the questions I get the most:

How many chickens should I get?    Figure it this way:  for every chicken you have you will get about one less egg per day.  For example, if you have 6 chickens you will get 5 eggs a day.  That's an average.  There are a couple of times a year when production drops dramatically because the brood is molting or it's too hot.  Also, it does depend on the breed.  Amerecuanas/ Aracaunas are not as reliable layers as some of the other breeds, but I like to keep a couple becaue the blue-green eggs are so pretty.  We keep 6 chickens, and that is enough to supply us, another family, and Sugar Snap's first grade teacher with fresh eggs.

Should I get baby chicks?  Not if you have kids.  Chicks are cute and fluffy....for a very short period of time.  They are not generally very hardy; they tend to succumb very easily to a variety of diseases/problems.  In our adorable suburban naivete we went out and bought 6 baby chicks the first time.  Overnight, we lost two who drowned in their water bowl, and soon later lost a third.  The other consideration is that you will feed a young chicken for 6 months before they start laying eggs.  Buy a good young layer hen, and start getting eggs immediately.

If I get baby chicks, when will they start laying?   6 months.

Do I need a rooster to make eggs?  I am so surprised by the chicken ignorance out there.  You do not need a rooster to get eggs.  Chickens make eggs happily without roosters.  The roosters  have a tendency to sexually harass the chickens frequently and kind of violently (I realize it's natural...that makes it no less disturbing).  You only need roosters if you want to make more chickens.

Do chickens smell bad?  Not if you do it right.  If you have a "chicken tractor", or mobile chicken house, then by moving it on a fairly frequent basis you will keep the odor down.  Our chicken house is immobile, so we will periodically pour a big bag of cedar chips (buy this at a feed store) into the coop.  You can also let your chickens roam around your yard like we do in the summer when all the garden produce is kaput.

Are your chickens pets?  No.  We no longer name our chickens.  First of all, chickens are bitches.  They are meaner than pre-teen girls.  There is a reason for the term "pecking order".  They will literally peck a weaker older chicken to death.  Also, although a chicken can live to be about 20, they just aren't as hardy as a dog or cat.  We have had a few die due to heat, and a few killed by critters.

What size coop should I have?   They don't need a whole lot of space, we have 6 hens in 8x5 pen.  There are many available to buy, some are fancier than my house.  Ours is hand built out of chicken wire, salvaged metal sheets and old political signs.  Just make sure it's secure enough to keep out critters (dogs/ possums/ racoons/ rats).

What do I feed my chickens?  We feed ours 1/2 coffee can scoop of layer pellets and kitchen scraps.  Chickens will eat almost anything except citrus peel.  We give them watermelon rinds, shrimp shells, leftover peelings, scraps of stale bread, really any kitchen leftovers except anything with chicken in it.  You can do it.  They will eat it.  But in my opinion it's just wrong.  I won't even give them beans cooked in chicken stock, although Hubby thinks it's silly.  I also won't give them eggs for fear that they will develop a taste for them.

How long do the eggs stay fresh?  If you just bought a dozen eggs at the store they were probably laid around the 4th of July.  Any eggs you get from your own hens are going to be much fresher, but they keep for months.

What breed do you recommend?  We like Jersey Giants. They are great layers of nice brown eggs.  I like Amerecaunas/ Aracaunas because of the pretty blue green eggs, although they are don't lay as frequently.  Bantams lay tiny little eggs.  Rhode Island Reds are good.  Mys sister-in-law likes her Production Reds.  Ask at your local feed store what they can get for you.  We shop at Wabash Feed on Washington in Houston.

Do you ever eat your chickens?  I could have done it.  We had a pain in the ass rooster that I would have been happy to get rid of the old fashioned way (gumbo), but again...the kids.  One of these days  I am sure I will pluck a chicken for coq au vin, but will probably have to wait until Sugar Snap has gone to college.

So, there you go....all my chicken knowledge in a nutshell.  What are you waiting for?  Get some chickens!!!

The Art of Hanging Laundry

A year ago in September Hubby was working in Dallas and coming home on the weekends.  During that time, my dryer pooped out.   "Screw it!" I thought, "I don't need no stinking dryer."  I had been meaning to start hanging my laundry, and decided to take the opportunity to give it a try.  To this day I still have not replaced the dryer.   (How WT is that, to have broken major appliances sitting around?)  I have had to make some adjustments, but it has not been at all difficult - and we generate a lot of laundry. My six-year-old Sugar Snap has two to three wardrobe changes a day (look out Cher!), and Hubby changes out of his bidness clothes into more comfy almost every day.  We also do not use paper towels or paper napkins, we use cloth, so those have to be laundered.  Whereas I used to do several gigantic loads of laundry each week on one day (I very cleverly called it Laundry Day), now I do laundry every day that it isn't raining.  When I wake up I sort one load and put it in the washing machine and try to get it hung up by 10am to ensure that it gets dry.  My understanding is that in some parts of the world it is possible to get two consecutive loads dry in a day, but down here on the Gulf Coast where the humidity is 90+% that would be a challenge.  Sweet Potato (my 11 year old) brings the laundry inside at the end of the afternoon at around 5pm.  The only drawback I have experienced is that I like fluffy towels and line-dried towels come out crispy crunchy.  When we took a little mini vacation at a rent house in Galveston last year Sweet Potato crawled under the staircase and refused to leave.  It took some time to figure out why she was so hesitant, and she finally confessed "I don't want to leave the fluffy towels!"  No amount of fabric softener will help, so it might be worth having a dryer just for the sake of a luxurious bath.  Hanging the laundry has become  one of the chores I most enjoy.  The freshness of the clean laundry is unrivaled by any of the perfumey fabric softeners.  I always take a step back after I am done hanging and take a good look because I love the way the clothes look hanging on the line.  It's a little bit different every time.  It's art.

Sugar Snap playing in the laundry line.

Hosting a Garden Party the WT way

the centerpieces

WT party guests

In May on the Gulf Coast, our gardens are glorious! By July the heat will have baked everything but the okra, and only the most dedicated gardeners get out to weed and water. To celebrate the spring and before it gets too hot I wanted to host an outdoor party. The theme (and I always have a theme!): White Trash Garden Party! All of our guests were invited to dress the part - and since most of our friends are honest- to- God White Trash, that was no problem. The WT theme is the easiest theme ever for a party. Don't feel like sweeping? Don't! I used all of the paper plates and plastic cups from previous parties so we had an assortment from Halloween to Christmas to various princesses. We served cheap beer and rum punch in a fishbowl (rum, orange liquer and lemonade) and cans of soda for the kids. To eat I put out hot dogs, homemade pimento cheese sandwiches (using my own recipe which is made from white Vermont cheddar, pimentos, a dash of Worcestershire sauce, and mayo on white bread smeared with butter. I may be White Trash, but I'm a White Trash foodie). Also, hot pink coleslaw (coleslaw with a good few shakes of Louisiana hot sauce), a pineapple Jello mold, spray cheese on Ritz crackers, and Moon Pies. I invited guests to bring their favorite WT snacks and people brought watermelon, pork rinds, marshmallows on a stick, and pigs in a blanket, among other things.  My favorite, however, was Maggie's bacon wrapped tater tots. You read that right. Bacon. Wrapped. Tater. Tots. For decor I put cut flowers in beer bottles and tin cans on the table, as well as coffee cans with holes cut around the middle with a candle placed inside. We also strung up colored Christmas lights. For effect we had on some old Elvis movies on the TV on mute so we had the visual but not the sound because we had music on - Western swing and Rockabilly. I hung up laundry on the laundry line, and we let one of the chickens out to wander around the yard while the party was happening. We filled up the inflatable pool with water and let the kids get in and splash around. We started at 5 in the evening and wrapped up at 2:30 in the morning. A very good party, indeed.review

A dog, a baby, and a Cheeto...I think we all know how this is going to end.